The Myth of One Masculinity: A Drag King Perspective

Everything we have been handed down about masculinity is a construct. It has been constructed with words and imbued with meaning. By whom? By other human beings before us.

The number one question to ask yourself is... Does this version or interpretation of masculinity empower me?

In other words, does it leave me liberated to be my authentic self? Free to speak and express myself? And does it leave me free to act?

If the answer is no, not quite or not at all, then it might be time to examine the constraints of masculinity that we have inherited. This goes for all human beings, regardless of whether you were declared female, male or intersex at birth.

Let’s begin with the notion that there is only one masculinity. This is often dished out as the truth. But frequently this leaves us with only two options—toxic or non-toxic masculinity. 

Consider there are many masculinities. That masculinity is a plural expression. Especially as it intersects with race, sex, gender, sexuality, class and disabilities. 

As Drag Kings, how do we explore our masculinities? 

Consider:

Brad Armpitt

A bloke from a generation of men for whom toxic masculinity was considered the only form of masculinity. We see Brad making attempts to overcome his toxic masculinity past. And we witness him fumbling and making mistakes and missteps. He is doing his best and sometimes his best is not yet the best he could be. But we can see that he has a heart of gold and he is trying.

Jim Junkie

Watch the gym for an intriguing opportunity to observe performative masculinity. Jim Junkie is that gym guy who's there to make friends. We see him fail to be cool enough, hip enough or old enough to get in with the other guys socially. But he remains ever-optimistic and positive as he navigates the Fitness Influencer scene. And even when his accountability buddy/best friend Tyson never msgs back.

As you lean into your own masculinities, what is there to discover about yourself and your Drag King persona? 

Write your backstory and describe who he is and where he came from. Remember, you get to invent the environment from which your persona is born.

When you think about your Drag King persona, what does he like? What are his values? Who does he want to be? 

Think about what he doesn’t like. What keeps him awake at night and what are his pet peeves?

What is endearing about your persona and are you willing to fall in love with him a little?

Once you deepen your backstory, your clarity and confidence will increase on stage. Remember, your Drag King persona is simply a larger-than-life version of yourself. This is why I coach people to create a persona rather than a character you are putting on.

Your Drag King is a bold and emboldened version of yourself. Allow yourself to lean into your positive masculinities and act from there.

Kings often feel liberated or unleashed being their persona. One King said it felt like they got a glimpse into what male privilege feels like for a second.

It turns out that exploring masculinity is not only for cis-gendered men.

Xx Danica

The King Coach

P.S. Wanna be a Drag King? Click here to join the Kings of Joy community

Hello handsome, 🌈 I'm Danica Lani, The King Coach, here to empower you in your exploration of gender, sexuality, and performance. I have proudly mentored, choreographed, and produced 112 first-time Drag Kings since December 2020. Welcome to the joyous community of Kings of Joy, where we uplift and celebrate each other every step of the way! 🎉🤩 Let's embark on this Drag King journey together, embracing our true selves and cheering each other on! 🤗💖 #KingsOfJoy 

Photo credit: 📸 Sarah Malone