Queer Self-Care During Mardi Gras: Because Even Kings Need to Rest

Was anyone else exhausted by Fair Day this year? The Sydney Gay & Lesbian Mardi Gras is a huge festival season. There are events stacked on top of events. Something happening every single night. And if you’re anything like me—performing, hosting, producing, running on pure adrenaline—it’s a full-on time.

Now, as we dive deep into this year’s Sydney Gay & Lesbian Mardi Gras, I want to remind you: Self-care is a radical act of self-love, and it’s not optional.

This is your permission slip (because some of us need it). After the whirlwind of Mardi Gras—or any of our Gay Christmases (looking at you, Midsumma, ChillOut in Daylesford, Rainbow Wave in Bega, or Pride Month in June)—take some time for yourself. Not just a moment. A real, intentional, unapologetic pause.

What Is Queer Self-Care?

Self-care isn’t just bubble baths and face masks (though, if that’s your vibe, go for it). It’s about protecting your energy, setting boundaries, and filling up your own cup so you don’t burn out.

That means:

✔ Resting when you’re wiped out

✔ Nourishing yourself with good food and hydration

✔ Moving your body in ways that feel good

✔ Taking breaks from overstimulation (hello, social media detox!)

✔ Seeking support when you need it—because none of us are meant to do this alone

So here are some self-care MUSTS—especially after a big queer festival like Mardi Gras.

1. Sleep Like a King 👑

Your body needs a reset. Aim for at least seven to eight hours of sleep a night. If that’s not happening, schedule naps. Yes, naps. We are grown adults who need naps.

2. Move, But Make It Fun 🎶

Self-care isn’t just about resting; it’s also about moving. Take a walk, do some yoga, stretch, lift some weights, or dance in your kitchen like nobody’s watching. (Or like everyone’s watching, and you’re serving a full Drag King fantasy.)

3. Eat Something That Isn’t Glitter 🍏

Mardi Gras tends to be a blur of questionable takeaway food, glitter that lasts all year and whatever else is within reach at 3 am. But your body needs nutrients to recover. Hydrate. Eat your greens. Maybe throw in some protein while you’re at it. Your body will thank you.

4. Unplug & Reconnect (With Yourself) 📱🚫

Scrolling gives us that dopamine hit, but it also fuels comparison, FOMO, and post-festival blues. So, maybe log off for a bit. Put your phone face down. Go outside. Be present. It makes a world of difference.

5. Check In With Your People ❤️

Mardi Gras is joyous, liberating, and affirming—but it can also be emotionally intense. Post-event blues are real, and isolation can creep in after the high of community connection. Reach out to friends, chosen family, or support networks like QLife if you need a chat.

6. Set Boundaries Like a Boss 🚪

After a big festival, people might still be in party mode while you’re in recovery mode—and that’s okay. Protect your energy. Say no when you need to. “No” is a full sentence. Repeat after me: No.

7. Plan Your Recovery Like You Plan Your Outfits ✨

Before Mardi Gras even begins, schedule downtime afterwards. Block out a week (or two, if you can). Guard that time. Make it sacred. And don’t let anyone guilt you into “just one more thing” when you know you need rest.

8. Rest Your Body, Distract Your Brain 🎧

Ever try to rest, but your brain won’t shut up? Avoid getting stuck in your own head. Listen to a podcast. Play an uplifting audiobook. Put on a guided meditation (try Insight Timer, it’s free!). But whatever you do, don’t spiral into self-doubt or post-festival existential crises.

9. Change Your Environment 🏕️

If you can, get away for a bit. A night at a staycation hotel, a weekend in the bush, or just a day trip somewhere quiet. A change of scenery can help reset your nervous system and get you back to baseline.

10. Ask for Help When You Need It 🏳️‍🌈

You’re not meant to do this alone. If Mardi Gras (or life) has hit you hard, reach out. Talk to a friend, a therapist, or a support service like QLife (free, anonymous, and run by LGBTQIA+ peers).

You Deserve Rest. Full Stop.

If you need someone to tell you it’s okay to slow down, this is it. I give you permission to rest. To take care of yourself. To disappear for a bit and re-emerge when you’re ready.

Because Mardi Gras is about celebrating who we are—and part of that is honouring our needs, our limits, and our well-being.

So take a deep breath, King. You got this.

Xx

Danica Lani

The King Coach

P.S. Wanna be a Drag King? Click here to join the Kings of Joy community

Hello handsome, 🌈 I'm Danica Lani, also known as The King Coach. I'm here to empower you in your exploration of gender, sexuality, and performance. I have proudly mentored and choreographed 132 first-time Drag Kings since December 2020. Welcome to the joyous community of Kings of Joy, where we uplift and celebrate each other every step of the way! 🎉🤩 Let's embark on this Drag King journey together! 🤗💖 #KingsOfJoy

Photo credit: 📸 Sarah Malone