Stepping Into Your Drag King Power: From Fear to Fierce

Imagine this: you’re standing in the wings, heart pounding like a bass drum, the stage lights blinding as they spill onto the floorboards. The audience is waiting, the energy crackling like static. This isn’t just a performance—it’s a part of you coming alive, maybe for the first time. That hidden spark of your identity that’s been waiting for its moment? This is it.

Welcome to the electrifying, terrifying, and wildly rewarding world of Drag King performance. And trust me, you’re not alone. In this article, I’m breaking down the barriers that might hold you back and giving you the tools to make your first performance one to remember. Let’s do this.

Overcoming Stage Fright: Flipping Fear into Fuel

Stage fright hits hard. It feels like a brick wall, doesn’t it? But here’s the thing: it’s not a wall—it’s a doorway. You just need the key.

A mentor once told me something that changed everything: fear and excitement feel the same in your body. It’s your mind that decides what those butterflies mean. So, ask yourself—is this fear, or is this excitement? Because somewhere under the nerves, there’s a thrill waiting to burst out.

Try this quick nervous system reset:

•   Take two quick breaths in through your nose.
•   Then one long, slow exhale out.
•   Repeat three times.

It’s like hitting the ‘chill’ button on your brain, switching you into your parasympathetic system (where calm, renewal, and clarity live). Simple, powerful, and trust me—it works.

Preparing to Step Onstage: Embodying Your Divine Masculine

Being a Drag King is about so much more than a costume or a packer—it’s about owning your masculine centre. And sometimes, you need to call on something bigger to get there.

Here’s a little pre-show magic I use:

Picture a star above you, spilling golden light down toward your crown. Let the light drip in, thick and slow, like treacle. Feel it coating every inch of you—head, chest, hips, toes. Now breathe.

Where does your Drag King lead from? Your swaggering shoulders? A cocky tilt of the chin? Draw that golden energy down into your masculine centre and let it fuel your every move.

Breathe in. Own it. You’re ready.

You’re Not Alone: Finding Your Drag King Crew

Starting out as a Drag King can feel like stepping into uncharted territory. But here’s the truth: this journey isn’t meant to be walked alone.

When you find your Drag King crew—people who just get it—it changes everything. The Kings of Joy community is built for this: to lift each other up, have each other’s backs, and remind you that joy and courage live in collaboration.

That’s why we start with group performances in Kings of Joy. It’s not just about the show. It’s about the friendships, the bromances, and the epic moments of ridiculous fun that happen when you share this journey.

Facing Challenges: From “Can I?” to “Hell Yes, I Can”

You’ll hit challenges, no doubt. Maybe it’s fear of judgment, or not knowing where to start. Maybe it’s feeling like you don’t belong. Guess what? Every King you admire has been there. And every challenge you face is a chance to grow.

Lean on the community. Lean on the joy. Surround yourself with people who cheer when you succeed and laugh with you when things get messy. That’s the secret sauce.

Your Turn: Stepping into Your Masculine

Here’s what I want you to remember: when you step off that stage after your first performance, the most important review isn’t from the crowd. It’s from you. Did you show up for yourself? Did you take that leap? Did you let yourself feel it?

This is your time. Lean into your masculine. Take up space. And above all, have fun.

You’ve got this.

Xx

Danica Lani

The King Coach

P.S. Wanna be a Drag King? Click here to join the Kings of Joy community

 Hello handsome, 🌈 I'm Danica Lani, also known as The King Coach, here to empower you in your exploration of gender, sexuality, and performance. I have proudly mentored, choreographed, and produced 129 first-time Drag Kings since December 2020. Welcome to the joyous community of Kings of Joy, where we uplift and celebrate each other every step of the way! 🎉🤩 Let's embark on this Drag King journey together, embracing our true selves and cheering each other on! 🤗💖 #KingsOfJoy  

Photo credit: 📸 Sarah Malone