Check Yo Self Before You Wreck Yourself*: Queer Liberation on the Dancefloor

*Ice Cube, 1993 Check Yo Self - being aware of your actions and their consequences

Have you ever laughed at someone expressing themselves on the dancefloor? You nudge your girlfriend and point them out, laughing at the way they move their body. Perhaps it’s early in the night and they are the only one going for it on the dancefloor.

When we judge other people, (don’t worry, we all do it whether we say it out loud or not), we instantly create a limit or a constraint on ourselves. Whatever we are pointing at, in this case, someone being fully self-expressed on the dance floor is the very thing we are now constrained in. Because we are judging that behaviour, we cannot participate that way ourselves.

If you think about it, your judgment of others says more about you than about the person. Thankfully the person is probably living their best life and is blissfully unaware of you.

According to the Spotlight effect, we walk around being overly conscious of ourselves and believing that the people around us also have their attention on us. What’s really going on is that most people around us are walking around in their own spotlight effect, thinking that you have your attention on them, and not on yourself.

Consider that if you can’t allow someone else to be fully self-expressed, that points to the limits you have to express yourself. There’s a reason they are the one starting the party on the dancefloor and you are the one on the sidelines.

The most joy in life comes from being on the dancefloor, participating in life, regardless of whether you think you can ‘dance’ or not. Being on the sidelines in life sucks the vitality and joy out of you.

Luckily, we have a choice in life. To be the Judgy McJudgy on the sidelines who is constrained or the one on the dancefloor who is liberated and having the time of their lives.

If you see this type of toxic behaviour on the edges of a dancefloor, you can simply join the person on the dancefloor and demonstrate what having fun looks like. Queer liberation was fought for. Let’s not forget the privilege we have to express ourselves in public. 

And if someone is going for it on the dancefloor in a way where they are liberated, not caring what others think but in the pure joy of the moment, they are that way because they are in a queer space where they feel safe enough to express themselves.

What kind of human are you choosing to be?

Happy Mardi Gras.

Xx

Danica

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